We just make it go away, shove it in a box, hide it away in the dark, and never think about it.
We have forgotten that it is ok to mourn.
When you greet friends you say, "I'm good, how are you?" But how often do we mean it?
Why do we say it if we don't mean it?
It's because pain makes people uncomfortable. They don't know what to say, how to act. We don't know how to mourn.
John 11:1-44 tells the story of the death of Jesus' dear friend Lazarus.
I love this story for many reasons.
One of he reasons is because Jesus met Mary and Martha where they were emotionally. He didn't chastise them for having emotions or feelings.
They both felt differently.
(This is the Kelly paraphrase version 😉)
The Bible says...
The sisters sent word to Jesus that their brother was very sick. They both knew. Jesus had healed many and could and would heal their beloved brother as well.
However, Jesus chose to stay 2 more days where he was before taking the 2 day journey back to the sisters.
Jesus told His disciples He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead to show God's glory and to help the disciples to really believe He is the Son of God.
So Jesus already had decided, He was going to bring Lazarus back from the dead.
By the time Jesus arrived, his friend Lazarus had died and was buried 4 days ago.
Martha heard of Jesus approaching and ran to him. I imagine her kinda mad at Jesus. She questions him about how long it took him to get there, she knew it was a 2 day journey, it had been 4 days she complained to Jesus. She says to Him, "had you been here, my brother would not have died." and followed with, "but I know, even now, God will give you whatever you ask." Jesus doesn't scold her for her feelings, He meets her where she is at and reasons with her. He says, "your brother will live again."
She then ran and told her sister Mary that Jesus was close. Mary ran right to Him still outside the city.
Mary had quite a different response, she fell at his feet weeping, and said, "Lord, had you been here my brother would not have died!" She wept at his feet, overcome by grief for her lost brother.
The Bible says seeing Mary weeping, Jesus was deeply moved in the Spirit and troubled. Then the Bible says "Jesus wept." Seeing His beloved friend in so much pain moved Jesus to tears. He did not reason with Mary like Martha, no, He cried with her. Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, yet He still cried with His hurting friend.
I love this exchange between the sisters and Jesus because it shows us we can come to Jesus however we are and He will meet us where we are and comfort us in the way we need.
The Bible mentions numerous times when people mourned, they would spend days, week, and even months mourning, they would put ash on their faces and tear their clothes, shave their heads, they would even hire people to come mourn with them. They would mourn for various reasons, death, sickness, lost children, family not following the Lord, family worshiping idols, war time, lost kings, and lots more.
Esther 4:3 says, "there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing. Many lay in sackcloth and ashes."
That sounds pretty serious, they were wailing together as a nation.
Micah 1:8
Because of this I will weep and wail; I will go about barefoot and naked. I will howl like a jackal and moan like an owl.
She then ran and told her sister Mary that Jesus was close. Mary ran right to Him still outside the city.
Mary had quite a different response, she fell at his feet weeping, and said, "Lord, had you been here my brother would not have died!" She wept at his feet, overcome by grief for her lost brother.
The Bible says seeing Mary weeping, Jesus was deeply moved in the Spirit and troubled. Then the Bible says "Jesus wept." Seeing His beloved friend in so much pain moved Jesus to tears. He did not reason with Mary like Martha, no, He cried with her. Jesus knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, yet He still cried with His hurting friend.
I love this exchange between the sisters and Jesus because it shows us we can come to Jesus however we are and He will meet us where we are and comfort us in the way we need.
The Bible mentions numerous times when people mourned, they would spend days, week, and even months mourning, they would put ash on their faces and tear their clothes, shave their heads, they would even hire people to come mourn with them. They would mourn for various reasons, death, sickness, lost children, family not following the Lord, family worshiping idols, war time, lost kings, and lots more.
Esther 4:3 says, "there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing. Many lay in sackcloth and ashes."
That sounds pretty serious, they were wailing together as a nation.
Micah 1:8
Because of this I will weep and wail; I will go about barefoot and naked. I will howl like a jackal and moan like an owl.
Mourning was an acceptable part of culture. It was ok to be upset, to not be ok.
Romans 12:14
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Mourning is acceptable for a season, as long as you don't move in and live there forever.
Ecclesiastes 3:4
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
You don't have to mourn forever. There is comfort for you, if you are there.
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Job 5:11
Jeremiah 31:13
Then young women will dance and be glad,
young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
Don't you love that?
So how do you get from mourning to joy? Be open and honest with God! Bring what you have, despite the mess and offer it to Him, He will meet you where you are. He will heal your heart and mind and make you whole again. He has done it for me so many times.
Recovering from divorce was awful, I thought sometimes I would never be whole, never feel joy, never get over the failure of broken dreams. But, I did! I gave my brokenness to Jesus and He gave me JOY! Real joy, peace in my heart and head, and hope.
Hope that He is in control and has an awesome plan for my life that is so much bigger than what I can see.
Lift up your eyes to the Lord, lift up your woes, your problems, your fears, and your pain. He will take it and give you a crown of joy. It may not happen overnight, these things take time. But this season will pass and joy comes in the morning!
Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
Don't you love that?
So how do you get from mourning to joy? Be open and honest with God! Bring what you have, despite the mess and offer it to Him, He will meet you where you are. He will heal your heart and mind and make you whole again. He has done it for me so many times.
Recovering from divorce was awful, I thought sometimes I would never be whole, never feel joy, never get over the failure of broken dreams. But, I did! I gave my brokenness to Jesus and He gave me JOY! Real joy, peace in my heart and head, and hope.
Hope that He is in control and has an awesome plan for my life that is so much bigger than what I can see.
Lift up your eyes to the Lord, lift up your woes, your problems, your fears, and your pain. He will take it and give you a crown of joy. It may not happen overnight, these things take time. But this season will pass and joy comes in the morning!
Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
